The REAL Jack Brewer
by bauer05
Summary: I'm not who you think I am. WARNING: Very angsty. Mentions of suicide and abuse.
1. Prologue

I'm not who you think I am.

The cocky hero guy who is good at karate is just a mask.

I'm not confident.

Or strong.

Inside I'm nothing.

Just an empty shell.

I make it seem like I don't care whenever someone criticizes me.

But deep inside it hurts.

Everyday is a pain to live through.

I know my friends only like me because I'm good at karate.

I'll bet as soon as I screw up they'll ditch me.

Just like everyone in my life has.

Every time I fake a laugh or smile, I wish for someone ANYONE to notice that somethings wrong.

That I'm not happy.

That I'm scared.

Insecure.

Lonely.

Weak.

But no one will ever notice.

To them I will be nothing but a happy slightly arrogant guy who does karate and skateboards.

They'll never get to know me.

The REAL Jack Brewer.

And that's what hurts the most.


	2. A dark past

**Hii guys Bauer05 here, thanks for the reviews and since a few of you decided that this should be a fic I decided to make it one. However it does get very dark and possibly quite scary (it will do in later chapters) so be warned :)**

It all started when I was 10 years old- a four years before I moved to Seaford. One day when I got back from school the house had seemed to be empty. I walked up the wooden stairs and down the hallway to see if anyone was home. The door was unlocked so someone should be. I opened the very last door at the end. It reeked of cigarettes and beer.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING RUNT!"

The way she looked at me scared me. She was always a happy woman who said that she loved me and cared for me. How could she- my own mother call me a runt.

"Mom what's going on?" I was shaking and I was sure she could tell.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO ON AND LEAVE LIKE YOUR FATHER DID, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BURDEN WHO RUINED MY WHOLE LIFE, I NEVER EVEN WANTED YOU, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL UNTIL YOU LEAVE!"

Then it hit me. Smack bang in the middle of my chest. All this time they- she told me that she loved me it was just a bunch of horrid rotten lies.

I changed after that. My grades slipped and I had flunked every class in school. I tried stay away from home as long as I could but in the end I would always come back. When I came back the abuse would happen. Not physical but emotional. "RUNT" "WEAKLING" "MISTAKE". The words would cut into my skin like a knife and with every word the cut got deeper until finally I pretty just became lifeless like a zombie.

My life changed when 6 months later when social services came and took me away. They claimed she was an unfit mum. I was glad to finally leave that place. What came next though was just as bad.

I was sent to Parks All Boys Orphanage (A/N just made that place up). I was teased, bullied and physically abused by everyone there. I got so depressed that I'd tried to kill myself. The idea seemed good at the time, I was unlucky though because they had found me 'just in time'.

The doctors diagnosed me with severe depression and put me on anti-depressant pills. I had to stay in a mental hospital. People thought I was crazy. At night I saw things, things that weren't really there. Voices in my head kept telling me to kill myself and hurt people. I didn't mean to do any of it though. The doctors diagnosed me with Schizophrenia. I was crazy.

One doctor helped me, his name was Dr Harris, but I call him Dad now. He helped me through everything until finally he adopted me. When I asked him why he'd adopted me, a depressed schizophrenic teenager, out of all people he told me, because I believe the only way to help you is to have someone let you know that you are loved.

2 weeks later we moved to Seaford. I tried as hard as I could to leave the past behind but the voices would still be there.


	3. Creatures of the night, Voices within

It had been 4 months since I'd moved to Seaford and I'd had the best time of my life when I wasn't at home. My dad had been consumed by his work barely spending anytime with me and he was constantly stressing out. However that wasn't what was bothering me. It was night time that was the worst. My Schizophrenia was worse at night time. I saw things crawling around in the dark and watching me while I tried to go to sleep and the voices in my head grew louder and more demanding. _Jack, Jack, JACK, JACK _ the voices would whisper constantly _Kill, kill, they don't deserve you hurt them, kill them, GET THEM JACK GET THEM!_

But that wasn't even the worst of it. I hated going to sleep because of the nightmares. Every night I had the same nightmare over and over again. I dreamt of horrible things happening to my friends and that I was the person doing those horrible things to them. It got so bad that I stopped sleeping at all. It took a while for dad to notice but when he did I was put on sleeping pills. I didn't mind because that way the nightmares didn't come nor the voices. But it would always start again in the morning.

One of the reasons why I loved karate so much was because it was a good way to channel all of the anger out of system that the voices gave me. But even that didn't stop the things I saw. When I told the guys the reason why I was scared of clowns I was almost certain that Kim didn't believe me. Sparky was one of the monsters that I saw. He was the worst one with evil eyes that had an eerie glow to them, razor sharp teeth and a habit of watching me wherever I'd go.

_I'll kill you Jackie boy and I'll make your death slow and painful _he'd say to me.

_You'll never make it and I'll make sure to kill you and everyone who knows you._

I'd once tried to tell someone about sparky I can't remember who.

_HA IF YOU THINK PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE YOU, YOU BETTER THINK AGAIN JACKIE BOY BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SEE ME BECAUSE I ONLY HAUNT YOU!_

8 was another monster that I saw. 8 was always the one to bring me down, he is the main reason why I could never fully get over my depression. He had green mottled skin covered with boils, sharp yellowing teeth and a constant evil glint in his eyes.

_The world would be so much better without you Jack._

_Do it Jack, do it, kill yourself no one will care if you die._

_They only like you because your good at karate as soon as you screw up they'll leave just like everyone else has._

_No one loves you Jack not even Dr Harris._

There were others too.

5 would always tease me.

_Ha look at poor little Jackie nothing but a loser,_

Zed would get angry at me and hurt me.

_No wonder your mom hated you._

_You piece of good for nothing crap._

He would make me cut myself even though I didn't want to.

Finally there was 666.

666 would watch me at night and taunt me.

_Little Jackie all tucked up at night_

_Too scared to move_

_Too scared to fight_

_Useless, Worthless, scared and weak_

_Haunted by creatures of his past_

_Fear of Sparky_

_Sadness of 8_

_Torment of 5_

_Anger of Zed_

_Wrath of 666_

_Together the five become one _

_Making the final sixth_

_The last of creatures of the night_

_Little Jackie sleep tight._

It was the same rhyme every night. Whenever the all came together I would scream and writhe in pain then soon black out, their voices consuming my mind. When I would wake up again I would be in a place of chaos and destruction. Although the hadn't come together in a while. They only ever came at night after 6 o'clock. Before that I only had to worry about the voices.


	4. the sixth

I woke up to the sound of my annoying alarm clock.

"Uggh" I groaned as I dragged myself out of bed. It was Saturday that meant a full day of my three favourite things karate, skateboarding and hanging out with the Wasabi Warriors. I got dressed and ran down stairs. It was quiet that meant dad had already gone to work. I wish he was here more often. _No you don't you would be better off if you killed him Jack, kill him, Kill Him, KILL HIM!_

I slammed the cup down willing the voices to disappear. I quickly took my meds and headed out the door.

I was the last one to finally got to the Dojo.

"Hey Rudy, Jerry, Milton, Kim and Eddie"

"Hey Jack" they all replied.

"Okay guys were gonna start of with a few warm ups so Jack start on the dummies, Jerry on the Nun chucks, Kim practise the Bow staff, Milton work on breaking boards and Eddie spar with me"

We all went to our places and began to practise.

_Jack, Jack, JACK,JACK,JACK. _The voices grew louder and I began to hit the dummies harder and harder. _Get them Jack, Get them, you gotta Kill them, all of them they're all sinners ._

The words kept repeating in my head.

_HERES SPARKY!_

Sparky started to running towards me. This had never happened before. I heard more noises and as I turned left I saw 8,5, Zed and 666 chanting the same rhyme they always chanted over and over again. This couldn't be good. I started to freak out. My breath became rugged and I felt pain and darkness consume me.

KIMS POV

We were all training and doing what we were supposed to do when we heard a scream. We all turned to see Jack looking around like a deer caught in headlights. This was scary! What happened?

All of a sudden he stopped looking terrified and began to mumble to himself. I couldn't hear what he was saying but he gradually became louder until I could finally make out the words of what he was saying.

"Little Jackie all tucked up at night

Too scared to move

Too scared to fight

Useless, Worthless, scared and weak

Haunted by creatures of his past

Fear of Sparky

Sadness of 8

Torment of 5

Anger of Zed

Wrath of 666

Together the five become one

Making the final sixth

The last of creatures of the night

Little Jackie sleep tight."

It was a chant of some sort. I looked to the guys for some sort of explanation but they looked just as scared and confused as me. There was a bang and the chanting stopped, he had collapsed on the floor.

RUDY'S POV

"JACK!" I yelled as I ran over to him. I'd never seen him act like that before.

"Lets lie him down on the couch in my office and wait until he wakes up"

We picked him up and laid him down on the couch. Kim grabbed a wash cloth and placed it over his head. I watched on as Jack began to toss and turn and mumble in his sleep. I couldn't make out what he was saying but it broke my heart to see him like this. I jumped as I heard a gasp and saw Jack sitting up on the couch.

"Jack, are you okay?" Kim asked him.

"W-what happened?"

"You screamed and started to chant something about 5 and 8" Milton jumped in.

As soon as Milton said that Jacks face turned to a look of sheer horror. He looked as though he was arguing with himself and he shook his head after.

"Jack as your sensei and the only adult in here I need to know if every things okay"

He looked down as though he was ashamed.

He sighed "I see things you know that aren't really there and I hear voices in my head, They *another deep breath* they tell me to do bad things, Sparky always watches me and tells me that he will kill me, 8 tells me to kill myself he tells me the world would be so much better without me, 5 teases me he calls me a loser a weakling, Zed takes his anger out on me h-he hurts me and 666 watches me at night, taunts me and sometimes they all come at the same time and they chant that ss-song"

I mentally slapped myself I should've known about this.

MILTON'S POV

Wow Jack of all people had to go through this. Hang on a minute this sounded a lot like.

"Jack that sounds a lot like Schi-" I started.

"Schizophrenia, I know"

"Jack is there anything else that you need to tell us?" Kim asked comfortlingly.

"I don't want to tell you my life story but you'd need to know so you would understand"

-Goes through life story-

Wow I can't believe Jack has been through this much.


	5. what good did I do?

JACKS POV

I didn't want to tell them. Now I wished I hadn't. They always looked at me differently, like I was crazy and about start chanting again any minute. _They hate you Jack, you gotta kill them, KILL THEM! _Get out of my head! _KILL THEM, KILL ALL THE SINNERS, DO IT JACK, DO IT! _Shaking my head I walked through the school doors.

I still met up with Kim and the guys but lately we all began to drift apart or rather they began to drift apart from me. _JACK, JACK,JACK,JACK, JACK,JACK! _The voices went louder and louder till finally they were shouting in my head. I ran from school and all the way to my house. When I got back I hid under my bed covers. _JACK, JACK,JACK, JACK, JACK!_ I peeked out the covers to see Zed coming towards me.

_Awww, is little Jackie scared? WELL YOU SHOULD BE YOU WORTHLESS NOTHINGNESS!_

Zed grabbed my hand and forced it to make a long scratch down the side of my face.

_No wonder your Mother hated you, WEAKLING!_

He disappeared and then 8 came.

_Well,well,well isn't this nice loser Jack is up here all alone._

Tears were now threatening to spill from my eyes. I blinked them back but what he said next made me lose control and tears kept coming.

_No one likes you Jack the world would be so much better without you,_

_Your friends hate you Jack, _

_To them your just some crazy depressed kid who no one likes,_

_Face the truth Jack every one you know will always leave you in the end,_

_First your real father, then your mother, your adopted father and now your 'friends',_

_Just do us all a favour and KILL YOURSELF!_

He disappeared and I lay there crying. He was right, what good did I do?

I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and began to write down several notes saying the same thing.

I'm not who you think I am.

The cocky hero guy who is good at karate is just a mask.

I'm not confident.

Or strong.

Inside I'm nothing.

Just an empty shell.

I make it seem like I don't care whenever someone criticizes me.

But deep inside it hurts.

Everyday is a pain to live through.

I know my friends only like me because I'm good at karate.

I'll bet as soon as I screw up they'll ditch me.

Just like everyone in my life has.

Every time I fake a laugh or smile, I wish for someone ANYONE to notice that somethings wrong.

That I'm not happy.

That I'm scared.

Insecure.

Lonely.

Weak.

But no one will ever notice. 

To them I will be nothing but a happy slightly arrogant guy who does karate and skateboards.

They'll never get to know me.

The REAL Jack Brewer.

And that's what hurts the most.

Not one of you cared how much pain I was in.

I knew I shouldn't have told you

You act like I'm not the same person

Now you've gone and left me just like everyone else in my life has.

I'm no use here, I hate my life and everyone hates me.

I'll miss you

But no one will ever miss me

JACK

I placed all the letters in envelopes and labelled them.

KIM

RUDY

MILTON

JERRY

EDDIE

DAD

BLACK DRAGONS

I made one for the Black Dragons but without the end bit I wanted to make them feel guilty.


	6. Free at last

I placed the letter for dad in his study. Then I grabbed my skateboard and made my way to the two dojos. I went to the Black Dragon one first and slipped the letter under the door. When I got to the Bobby Wasabi Dojo I checked to see if anyone was there before placing the letters in each of their lockers. It was only 2pm and school finished at 3pm.

_Kill them Jack, Kill them. _The voices started again getting louder and louder. By the time I got home they were so loud that I started to scream from pain. I knew I had to end it all now. Tears started to fall. I grabbed a large rope and a stool. Standing on the stool I tied the rope to the ceiling, then proceeded to tie it round my neck.

"I was never good enough" I whispered as I jumped off the stool.

Black dots danced across my eyes and the voices soon died away. Finally, finally I would be free.

KIMS POV

I stared down at the letter I just read. Not Jack, why did he have to do this?

"Guys, we have to get to Jacks house" I said to Rudy and the guys. They nodded.

We hopped in Rudy's car, I just hoped we weren't too late. It only took 5 minutes to get to Jacks house but in felt so much longer. By the time we got there I could see an ambulance outside the house.

It set off and we followed it too the hospital.

RUDY'S POV  
We walked through the hospital doors. We got to the front desk and asked the woman where Jack was and we were told to go to the waiting room. We got to the waiting room and I saw Jacks dad in there, he was crying. I'd never seen a parent look so broken.

"Bill everything is going to be okay" I tried to reassure him.

" I-I walked in the house and there he was just ha-hanging there all limp and lifeless, I c-cut the rope down and called the ambulance, its all my fault Rudy I should have been there for him, I should have paid more attention to him instead of my work"

"Jack is a strong boy, he is a fighter he will get through this, don't worry"


	7. Facing your demons

KIM'S POV

I walked into Jacks room. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. He was connected to a heart rate monitor and had drips going into his arms. I sat down and watched him in his sleep. Every so often he would twitch or jerk as though he was having a nightmare. It scared me to see him this broken.

JACK'S POV

Light started to blind my eyes and I saw 5 hooded figures coming towards me. They wore long robes and I wasn't able to see there faces.

"Am I dead" I asked them.

"Not really, I suppose you're in the in between world" The first one said.

"What's the in between world?"

"It is a place where a very rare few have a choice between life or death"

"But why am I here?"

"Because you bore an ancient curse"

"Curse, what curse?"

"When you were born, you were born with a strong soul, the dark master despises those who are strong and powerful so he sent demons to possess everyone you knew and he sent 5 demons to haunt you, you called them Sparky,8,5,Zed and 666, their real names are Timor (fear),Tristitia (sadness), Torquebit (torment), Ira (anger) and Ira DCLXVI (wrath 666), Jack you are now faced with a choice, a choice of facing your demons or running away from them, your decision must be quick as we have little time"

That made me angry, this dark master had ruined my life all because of a strong soul. I knew instantly what I had to do, I'd ran away from everything in my life. It was time that I stopped running and show to everyone that had ever doubted me that I am no longer a scared little boy but a fearless young man.

"I'm sick of running from everything, I need to face my demons and show them whose boss!"

"Good decision, I will now send you to the darkness where you will face them, remember Jack, show no fear"

They disappeared and I was thrust into a void of darkness. _Jack, over here look over here._ I turned round to see all 5 of my demons.

_Look little Jackie is scared. A big coward. Loser._

"I'm not afraid of you"

_HA somehow we find that hard to believe._

"Well you better find some way to believe it because you ruined my life but never again will you

I'm not afraid of you, I'm Not Afraid Of You, I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!"

The demons slowly began to back away screaming and yelling curses in a language that I couldn't understand. Suddenly I woke up to a blinding white light.

RUDY'S POV

I saw Jacks eyes beginning to twitch as though he was about to wake up. I called everyone over.

He slowly opened his eyes.

"What happened?" his voice sounded dry and hoarse and as though he was in pain- though I couldn't blame him as he had just had a rope tied around his neck.

"Y-you tried to kill yourself" Kim sobbed.

A look of realisation hit Jack and he began to try and comfort her as well as everyone else.

"Kim, I'm sorry, I was wrong people do love me and care about me and I wish I'd never had done what I did"

"Jack I have something to tell you"

I thought it was best for them to have some alone time.

KIM'S POV

I watched as everyone left the room. I needed to tell Jack this, it was now or never.

"Jack ever since I first met you I had a crush on you, when you got sick and started to chant, my heart cracked and that's when I began to think it was something more, then when I got your note, my heart shattered and I realised that Jack I love you"

I turned away embarrassed and unsure of what he might say.

"Kim, I liked you ever since I first laid eyes on you and through these past months I've come to realise that I love you too"

He ended his sentence with a kiss. It wasn't strong or passionate but slow and meaningful as though it was a life force. I crawled onto the bed and laid next to him. He held me tightly in his arms and together we fell asleep in each other's arms.

**Whoooohooo! Only one more chapter to go! What do you guys think? I added some KICK in there for all you JackxxKim shippers (personally I don't ship KICK but I have to admit they do fit together like puzzle pieces) anywho. Thanks to all those who reviewed, favourited and followed (it really brightened my day up) and if you have any idea's for a new fic for me to write just PM me.**

**Thanks**

**-Bauer05 xx**


	8. The sunset

**3 MONTHS LATER**

JACKS POV

We were all eating at Falafel Phil's. Life had gotten better since the incident. No more voices, no more haunts, no more feeling sad and depressed. I was happy. A lot had changed though. The Black Dragons had stopped tormenting us (maybe because of my suicide note), I spent more time with dad and not to mention when I spent time with my amazing girlfriend Kim.

I watched as Jerry tried to stuff as many falafel balls into his mouth as he could and gently grasped Kim's hand in mine. She looked at me and lead me out the restaurant. We walked to the park hand in hand.

"I love you Kim"

"I love you too Jack"

I turned her around and stroked the side of her face.

"You know I never had a chance to thank you"

"For what"

"Saving my life"

She looked up at me and pulled me into a gentle but passionate kiss. We walked to the swing set and watched the sunset together. I smiled as I realised that I had made the right decision and just how lucky I was.

**Wooowwww! Finally finished! I really hope you guys liked it. It's a bit short but heyy Jacks not depressed anymore :) Also if you have any ideas on what to write my next fic on the just PM (private message) me or just type so in the reviews. Again thank you to all those who have reviewed, followed and favourite, it was greatly appreciated. Also if you like vampires, harry potter, house of anubis or you really liked this story then please check out my new story MIDNIGHT'S FATE (it also has kickin it in too) :). Much love to you guys.**

**Bye**

**-Bauer05**

**P.S. I ship KLAINE (glee):) **


	9. Authors Note (Please read)

Hey guys, its Bauer05 here, Just wanted to ley you know that I've started a new Kickin it story called 'The Devil In Me'. It is a crossover with the X men and I would really appreciate it if you guys checked it out and reviewed it because I would love to be able to finish it off.

Thanks guys

-Bauer05 xx


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